Love turns, with a little indulgence, to indifference or disgust; hatred alone is immortal.
A very good friend of mine told me about that quote for the purposes of this week’s blog, and I decided to put it at the top seeing as my hatred for Tennessee will be immortal. I could write an entire 5-page paper on the reasons I hate them and why you should too, but instead I’ve decided to focus my attention on how they should not be called the Volunteers. Tennessee needs a new nickname, one more fitting for how repugnant they truly are. I went searching the internet and came across an old nickname that should have never left: Butternuts. Yes, this is a legit nickname dating back to the Civil War for soldiers from TN because their uniforms were tan and not grey. While I’m not a huge fan of bringing back things from the Civil War, this seems appropriate. We now have proof that the people of Tennessee have intentionally tried to make the world worse with their fashion color swatches since the 1860s. So we’ll go with the Tennessee Butternuts for their new name.
Alabama vs The only time they won’t be last on this blog (ESPN 8:00): 3rd weekend in October, you know what that means. I’ll leave my rage about what happened during last week’s game to further down in the blog, to say I was unhappy about Tennessee winning a game is an understatement. The Butternuts did look better than in previous weeks. Maybe not having a RB on their roster who can’t shut his mouth while under arrest in the back of a cop car has helped them? It is a mystery to me. I don’t think the Butternuts’ defense will be able to stop the power of the Tide on offense, so I’m not worried about scoring points.
Alabama also looked better across the board once you got past the 1st quarter. Our defense was actually able to apply pressure to the QB and make some big plays. If Waddle doesn’t run a punt or kickoff back for a touchdown this year, I’ll be shocked. Is Alabama perfect yet, nope. I want to see more progress on defense and holding a competent opponent to a lower score. Since I do not consider the Butternuts to be a competent opponent; I swear to god if they get two touchdowns on us I’m going to lose it. I expect the Tide to win by a fair amount. Fuck you Rocky Top, Go to Hell Tennessee.
Auburn vs Arkansas (SEC 11:00): Auburn is multi-score favorites against the Razorbacks, and they should be. Arkansas is hands down the worst team in the West this year. Come watch this game with me at brunch. I’ll tell you more reasons why the Butternuts are the worst and should lose in all sports and all things always.The Florida game should be more interesting.
UAB vs Old Dominion (ESPN+ 2:00): UAB will win. The Monarchs don’t have a chance.
SEC GAME OF THE WEEK
Florida vs South Carolina (ESPN 11:00): I’ve been in two debates this week about South Carolina’s legitimacy. People seem to think they got lucky against Georgia, and that Georgia beat themselves. I don’t see it that way. I think they played a fantastic game in hostile territory against Georgia. Hell, I thought they played a good game against the Tide. Mizzou is obviously the sleeper cell of the East, but I think South Carolina could have a chance against both Florida and Clemson. This game being on South Carolina’s home turf doesn’t hurt either. The lesson learned from the Florida vs LSU game is this: Florida’s defense isn’t that great and still disrupted Auburn.
OUT OF CONFERENCE GAME OF THE WEEK
Michigan vs Penn State (ABC 6:30): Oh boy, which Michigan team will show up? After getting destroyed by my Badgers, they have done just enough to win games. Penn State has a home run style offense, throwing for a whopping 10 yards per completion. Clifford has 13 touchdowns against 2 interceptions. However Penn State hasn’t played a defense like Michigan’s this year. Expect a good game with the Nittany Lions pulling away late.
LSU vs Dead to Me (CBS 2:30): YOU HAD ONE JOB STATE! It was don’t lose to Tennessee. No one gave a shit what else you did this season or had any expectations for you except for that. You blew it! I hope you don’t win another game including Arkansas! If you’re going to get beat by the team that couldn’t pull off beating Georgia State or BYU, then you don’t deserve any wins. Whatever, LSU won’t have an issue with State.
Ole Miss vs Texas A&M (SEC 6:30): My rage at State has spread to apply to the entire state of Mississippi so I hope A&M wins. I think they will since Ole Miss doesn’t have much of a defense this year.
Mizzou vs Vandy (SEC 3:00): Once again Mizzou is the sleeper cell of the east. They’ll have no issue with Vandy.
Georgia vs Kentucky (ESPN 5:00): Oh Georgia…that was a rough game for you, and at home. You guys still have a lot of talent. The pressure is really on for you now against Florida, and you have to go to the swamp and then Auburn. Time to work out the kinks against Kentucky before your last BYE.